Crashing at Bouche Molema: A Seagull’s Perspective


I, apparently, am a seagull – a Chroicocephalus novahollandiae, a silver gull – however to be trustworthy I do not know what these phrases imply as a result of I am a seagull. My pursuits are as follows: Sitting, Sitting, Flying, Consuming. Typically I do each collectively. Typically I do greater than that. As soon as upon a time, I fly away And Was consuming, however that was a bit a lot so I did not attempt it once more. An excessive amount of enthusiasm I do not like pleasure.

That is why at present a . was very dangerous day

Let me set the scene.

The way in which I get up most days: within the metropolis of Wollongong within the state of New South Wales, on the lookout for the following meal. Not too long ago extra has been accomplished about individuals. There are indicators in every single place that UCI Bike Metropolis, people appear to be excited or excited or each, and there are many colourful ones on wheels on the streets. I’ve taken it in my stride, as there are a number of chips available underneath the foreshore. I wish to eat chips.

Many colourful people have been troubled by magpies whereas residing right here. I do not perceive why magpies have so many crosses on them, however then once more, I am a pacifist. Largely there are flowers. Throw a chip at me sometimes and we’ll be effective.

Once I Discovered That Orange Human Bouke Molema has been harassed by a magpie, I’m very sorry to listen to this. He strikes me as a sort man who met an evil chicken, and never all Wollongong birds are dangerous birds. A few of us simply need chips. We’re all simply making an attempt to make our means on this planet.

I imagine that even now. What occurred after that?

What occurred? Properly, at present I used to be pecking round a steel barrier seeking a chip and I noticed Bouk Molema approaching.

He appeared offended about one thing. I do not know if he was nonetheless offended about Magpie from yesterday or one thing occurred, however he appeared to need to be someplace aside from Wollongong and within the spirit of the avian ambassador I needed to make some errors . I needed to inform her that simply because she had an unlucky expertise with a chicken in Wollongong, it did not imply that one thing dangerous would occur. everybody Time he met a chicken. That may be absurd!

Just a few loud jolts and I used to be within the air, shifting in direction of a future pal.

I assumed he would decelerate and hearken to what I needed to say, however I used to be mistaken. he was going so quick, I had no concept coloured people might be so quick! Earlier than I knew it, he was on me.

I attempted to achieve peak. For a second I sat on his hand. I hoped I might keep there, sitting like a kind of fancy falcons within the Center East, however he had a excessive velocity and my fluttering was too frantic.

I gave one final large flap, making use of each ounce of drive to my wings to attempt to keep away from a collision.

Its very late.

He plowed me from behind, despatched my tail feathers ahead and pushed me backwards. My head rested on his shoulder.

It was not going very properly. I knew it, he knew it, and now you recognize it too.

I stored swinging Being a seagull I’ve by no means heard of a washer, but when I had I might in all probability say I appeared like I used to be strolling round in a single.

My legs prolonged to the vanguard of Molema’s left hand, which I feel could have decreased my aerodynamic effectivity as he turned away from me.

[Editor’s note: Wind tunnel testing has repeatedly shown that a mid-sized gull plastered across an elite cyclist can hamper time trial performance.]

At this level I did not know the place my physique ended and Bauke Molema started. Perhaps our luck was at all times like this. In my thoughts, we’re nonetheless like that – half wing, half man, an unholy alliance.

I’m a seagull. My pursuits are sitting, chatting, flying, feeding. Right now, I crashed straight into Bouke Molema, persevering with my poor displaying of interactions with Australian birds. It was a mistake for which I’m very sorry, and I cannot attempt it once more.

An excessive amount of enthusiasm I do not like pleasure.


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